Preliminary

So, over the weekend my partner and I decided to get married. First, it was a shock of "oh my gosh, we are getting *married*" to "shit, details."

I, the woman, mind you, proposed to him. There was no ring or ceremony, we were talking in my parents dining room while I was working on my senior project and he was reading the "Omnivores Dilemma." We have been together for about nine months, but, we think this is it. Both of us have had rough and abusive relationships, and we know what we want in a partner now.

A testament to society, I proposed via text message at first. It read approximately "Will you marry me? In the sense that it isn't patriarchal and by civil union? Or something like that.

He said yes! So, the Libra in me is finally coming out. Libras usually are the ones that dream of their wedding day since wee-bitty babies. Not me. I liked playing in dirt too much to run around in a white towel with a pillow case on my head. (Usually, I ran around with no clothes on at all, much to my mothers consternation).

But, now I am really excited about this. We picked his birthday as the date, because it is soon enough after my graduation, and well before I have to leave for Japan (JET Programme!!) And, it happens to be a Saturday, which is good.

Preliminary deets:

1. No gifts, no registry, just going to ask that our guests make a donation in our name to Planned Parenthood, or Lambda Legal PA. We want to give a short speech about why gay marriage is important to us (I identify as queer, firstly), and why it is important to ensure that everyone everywhere can form a legal attachment to the one they love. Further, PA has no protections for queer couples. So, it would be awesome if they did.

2. I will wear A dress, but NOT a wedding dress. No white. I would like it to be a dress that I make. That would be awesome. Functional, too. That I can wear again.

3. No priest. No church. No religion. The ceremony will be at the same place as the reception.

4. Everyone will get to read our vows to us! This is my little brain child here. My partner and I will make up around 20 to 30 little cards with promises - such as "i promise not to flip out when you bring home *another* cat" and "I promise I will always stand by you in difficult times" (both hilarious and sentimental)

5.) Hyphenated last names. I will be "Mylastname-histlastname" and his will be "hislastname-mylastname" so we BOTH get our names first.

6. Reception: buffet, first drink on us, every drink after that on the guest.

7. Rings! We will both be getting engagements rings. They will be, most likely, claddagh rings. We are both children of Irish "anchor babies" and both have claddagh rings already, but we want to get spiffy nice ones with engravings on them, and then also use them as our wedding rings. BUT they are not going to represent a "down payment" on a bride, or as a means of marking territory.

That is all the deets I got for now, I hope to keep this updated, and private, until we make the big announcment this holiday season! Oh boy!

Can my Catholic family do with a small wedding? Can they put up with a wedding OUTSIDE of the church? Will I be forced into a white dress against my will?

TO BE CONTINUED!